Transcript Attached
Find all Angie's writing, podcasting & work here.
Tom Smyth - 🏙️CEO of Dream Apartments UK
📈Self Development & Business Mentor
🌏Property Developer | Author of #FEARLess
👇🏼Join me on my Journey #DREAMMentoring 📣Series 2 of the Hyperactive, Impulsive, Inattentive Living Podcast is back with a bang. 📣
🌍In between taking over the world & giving his all to his family, Tom sat down to talk about his high energy, total commitment and ‘all in’ attitude.
It’s worth listening to for the details of the meet-cute with his wife, but we also go deep about recovery & resilience, and how growing up in Belfast shaped the person he is today.
He’s a whirlwind of inspiration, dedication & discipline, who also happens to have #ADHD. And, following his lead, I’d like to express my huge gratitude for such a great conversation & to @oreilly_dean @polkastays for making this happen.
Find Tom on Instagram - TomSmythEntrepreneur https://www.instagram.com/tomsmythentrepreneur/
And get his book, Fear Less: An Antidote to Self-Doubt, here -
https://amzn.to/3KYq8sA
--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/hyperactiveliving/message
01:01.29
Tom Smyth
Can I just say I am privileged that you're doing it with me and I really respect anybody I do a podcast with I'm a really busy guy but I take these things serious. So thank you for the opportunity.
01:14.48
angelakirwinuk
Thank you, Thank you I usually start with asking people to introduce themselves and with that that allows you to go any direction you want and I will go from there. So yes, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself.
01:24.50
Tom Smyth
Yeah.
01:33.30
Tom Smyth
Yeah, my name is Tom Smith on Instagram I am Tom Smith the entrepreneur. Um I'm a guy from Belfast I'm an author a 10 act speaker a ted talk a grant code own lacency. Um I'm very lucky to be a dad.
01:51.32
Tom Smyth
Ah, granddad and I have the most amazing beautiful wife in the world. So that's a bit about me. Yeah.
01:56.88
angelakirwinuk
There's already so much to go with there isn't there now I've listened to a few of the talks. She's done and listened a little bit to your backstory already. Can you tell me. How you've ended up where you are Now. Can you give me like the version of your life story to this point.
02:14.47
Tom Smyth
Yeah, you know I suppose for me, it's definitely down to complete a order resilience total self-belief when I was a little boy. My mom we used to say to me what did we get you son the movies and. I always had bigger aspirations. You know I grew up in a war in Northern Ireland for 30 years um 3600 people unfortunately lost their lives the abnormal madness of death and terror was part of our normal life. So the resilience of Belfast and Northern Ireland is in my Dna.
02:50.99
Tom Smyth
Um, given up is never going to happen in my life. You know I don't know how to top out I don't know how to give up and I have just continued to push I hustle every single day I am full of gratitude I Love saying Thank you to people. And I am and the when at from I wake up until I go sleep every day.
03:14.60
angelakirwinuk
Have you always been like this or is this energy something you have to work on.
03:19.00
Tom Smyth
Now I think it's maybe part of what we're going to speak about you know, recently from I found out that I've being diagnosed way its day you know I am completely fulllorn but like I am fulllorn and love on my kids I am fulllorn and love on my wife. I am fulllorn in business. Um, if iend the gym you know my wife would say to me sometimes you're not treating enough for the olympics and my head I Am you know so I'm all in all the time.
03:48.63
angelakirwinuk
And and do you see that as part of your Adhd then or have you before you found out about Adhd did you just think this was like this is Tom this is normal.
04:02.29
Tom Smyth
Yeah, you know when I read Grant Cardonesburg 10 x I believe maybe I'm one of these people that does 10 times more a hundred times more a thousand times more and I thought I'm part of this crew of a 10 x from grant's office in my army I have to be 1 of these people. Um, but when I look around me you know, not many people sort of work at my piece and it's quite intense and but I will never lower my standards to suit other people I'm on this journey. Um I love it like I completely love it. You know I love my life. I love working I love my wife and kids I love going to the gym I love going to a a you know I just love watching a sunset I love having food of reg. It's all the basics all connected all of the time.
04:46.79
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
04:56.55
angelakirwinuk
And this this kind of all in this all or nothing approach this this attitude to life. Do you think you'd just be really bored if everything was average.
04:58.73
Tom Smyth
You know. Yes.
05:08.57
Tom Smyth
That would be a horror movie for me Horrible I Just love life and even you know I'm not pertin it outdoor to have challenges. But even my worst challenges like overcome and alcohol.
05:11.90
angelakirwinuk
Would you prefer it to be terrible rather than average.
05:27.85
Tom Smyth
And stuff are they making of me as a person you know anything that life throws at you will be up. There'll be a lesson in it. You know if not life would be boring. You know.
05:33.82
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah, so when did you realize that this attitude to life maybe wasn't normal. It wasn't what other people were experiencing daily.
05:52.53
Tom Smyth
I started getting you know, really good wins and and successes and stuff and people just say to me like your work rates in C and you know where do you get that energy. How do you do it? How do you keep it up and I'm like what do you mean? This's is just being normal all of the time. Um. And I've had people come and say to me I've seen you on social media and never for one second that I think you were like this in real life. It's insane. Um, and I I you know it's a I fan. It's a credit maybe to myself and I don't normally say ever say that? um that my work create a sack and the none.
06:28.11
Tom Smyth
Um, nobody will outwork me, you might have more qualifications but you will never write work me um and that's brought a kid from the strait up through the ranks of of corporate world without a qualification to his name but he's got the resilience of Belfast and his blood.
06:43.10
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, what were you like as a kid.
06:45.85
Tom Smyth
So. Yeah, you know, just an ace kid growing up who lived and lived in the clouds his head always wanted more? Um, ah I got my first job at the age of Tenn working in a fish and chip shop. Um, my mom and dad I'm very very very lucky that they're still alive. And they're both healthy, amazing parents Tommy and dorothy. But when we grew up in Northern Ireland and the 70 s people were flat us broke our whole country was smashed to pieces with bombs and tower and no employment. So we were broke we were broke but we had a house full of love and. I I decided to get my first job at the age of 10 and I was the kid who stood out the back of the chip shop and made the chips and I paid the potatoes in a huge machine put them into the chip machine and poured them into huge baths and and the freezing cold winter I would have stood in a hot bucket of water. Trying to stay warm, shivering and I got paid £10 a week and that £10 a week back then was a lot of money I'm 49 and sometimes three or four weeks in I could have bought my own football boots or my own trainees or my own track suit.
08:02.76
Tom Smyth
Or sometimes I wouldve simply looked at my money box and thought I put that money there. Um, so the young entrepreneur was born and I remember at 18 years old I came home. It's my first wage and bought a a picture of Marla Monroe in New York in the subway and I brought it all paper and for my mommy. And she was so happy she still has it in her kitchen. Um, so I've always been I've always wanted to give more than receive. Um because I love seeing some of these fees happy. Um I also love doing that indirectly sometimes doing something for somebody like paying for their food in a restaurant and walking out without them. No one. Um, but as a kid. Yeah I was a happy kid. Um, but the whole death and terror thing going on was pretty intense and you know you would have found out somebody get killed and you would about that's terrible. Do you want fashion ches or do you want a burger and you know it was nearly like. Yeah, somebody had been forgot about inside 5 seconds and you were you were just getting normal your life. Um, and that broke a lot of people and it met a lot of people and it definitely me and me Mount Lee off
09:08.63
angelakirwinuk
I think over in England the way the news is reported. We often forget that this was until very recently a war this was a civil war this was this was a battle and. Think we forget about what happens to people during wars we think that's something that happens overseas right far away from us and and do you think that just had a real profound impact on you. Do you think that's the thing that's that's kind of defined.
09:34.43
Tom Smyth
Miss Bush but
09:45.47
angelakirwinuk
Your resilience and your attitude to life now.
09:47.16
Tom Smyth
Yet Northern Ireland Belfast you know Ireland depend on who wants to look at what part of the country has made me the best version of myself. You know that that horrible thing that happened which now I'm so proud of because our country found peace like our community leaders and politicians. What they did with a good Friday agreement talk about somebody having a dream and belief in me can something happen and recently I went to watch the play in the lyric freeer theater show the good Friday agreement and I sat in tears watching that. Because of the miracles our politicians and community leaders. The peace that they brought to our community. It was I was crown a joy. No one that I'd grew up in a war watching these guys really really done everything they could to deliver the peace treaty and I could I was so grateful to watch it. Um, but it definitely made me tough. You know I was in London recently and a friend of mine said to me watch somebody doesn't steal your your role relax and I went I'm from beil fo me, nobody's taking my watch. You know Um, what Anna has do you know, storm me goostead and it continues to and I'm very proud.
10:54.36
angelakirwinuk
Said.
11:03.19
Tom Smyth
Of our country and it's people.
11:04.22
angelakirwinuk
And I've listened to some of you talks where you said you've gone back to Belfast and you've invested there. A lot of your business investments are over in Belfast is that really important to you that kind of going home to your community with your business.
11:11.22
Tom Smyth
Are.
11:20.64
Tom Smyth
Yeah, you know for me, it's about reaching out to different people and doing things for both sides of our community doesn't matter what religion I am I grew up in Northern Ireland or Belfast it's about giving back and. Bothers me I'm not a person who ever judges but it bothers me to see other successful business people sometimes that don't give back. You know I'll do something for a local church that needs a kitchen or a coffee bar or a local kids football team or a boxing club or a sick child and. Ah, you're invest and and your your home steady and making money from it so you have to get back to your community where you came from. It's essential. You have to give back.
12:04.45
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, and is that something that you just feel this real sense of um, right and wrong. This is this is how you choose to live your life and you think there's a right way of doing it in a wrong way of doing it.
12:17.62
Tom Smyth
Yeah, well probably part of my treats is I just see everything Blackck and white full on yes or no, you know I will probably cut people sometimes and say don't give me the sentences at a yes or no, okay, no okay. Thanks back I'm like he's furlon. But.
12:22.31
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, yeah.
12:37.20
Tom Smyth
Have that much's going on I don't want to listen to all the nonsense I Just want to get something donenna move on. Um.
12:40.53
angelakirwinuk
I was thinking as oh I was it's because I was thinking I found out about this Adhd Symptom called justice sensitivity and it's this idea that people with adhd they have their ideas of like what is justice what is just and they feel that so strongly.
12:48.52
Tom Smyth
Right.
12:55.40
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:59.94
angelakirwinuk
And they get so annoyed and upset if other people don't do that and I ah see that in myself a lot I see that in a lot of the reasons I went into social work and doing the kind of jobs I did um and that resonates what you're saying about your local community as well.
13:06.18
Tom Smyth
What yeah and um.
13:14.45
Tom Smyth
But even even for me to you. It's all core values like I would like to say to you openly right now in the podcast. Thank you so much for the opportunity because I am so grateful but holding a door open for somebody and please and thank you And yes you know.
13:23.97
angelakirwinuk
Thank you for coming.
13:32.85
Tom Smyth
All core values don't cost anything and maybe I'm going India a tangent but manners are free and just sometimes it takess other people to practice them too and when I don't see it. It bothers me.
13:44.81
angelakirwinuk
It's really interesting to hear you talk about core values because I don't think we actually do hear that a lot from people have you done a lot of work on yourself. Have you have you done the reflection and done the work on figuring out who you are.
14:02.00
Tom Smyth
Yeah I definitely know who I are um and I'm proud to who you areni because I have lived inhale and a tested what it felt like and I'm not on recovery and. I love being able to look in the mirror and be proud of myself. You know recently I landed a huge daily but ground Cardone in America the american billionaire and after the event you know everybody thought like what are you doing tonight. You only a club are you doing this I went back to the one hotel on South Beach the whole hotel was pumping. And I went for a swim I went to the gym I went the and a meeting assured my story of 45 people a shu hans I said thank you I went back and watched a movie in my room I got room service and I went to bath and that's me being proud of the person that I am now. Um, because I have evolved from instead of a guy who used to sit and drink at a bar or whatever and you know I always write in my mantra constantly It's so I constantly change and becoming the best version of yourself and I think all of us should find daily reflection and daily improvement. Even if it's 1% how day I become a better man or woman you know because you owe it to yourself that you're always improving.
15:18.72
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, with your journey into recovery. Do you want to talk a little bit about how that happened and what was going on for you.
15:23.58
Tom Smyth
There.
15:31.56
Tom Smyth
It was just if I had a great week I had a drink if I had a badwick I had a drink it became. There was no excuse not to have one or or have one. It was just becoming normal and I didn't like the version of myself that it was making me. Um. And I can't be this mantor and public speaker and author and I've acted in a film recently and I'm coaching people on what way to behave and how to perform and how to increase their performance if I'm sitting being the worst version of myself and I really put the work into myself and I'm proud of the outcome. I also am very aware that it takes daily work to do it I will never drop the ball I will never think that I've got it I know it could come out of the you know the darkness and it's star again. And it's just like going to the gym. It takes daily work takes constant work. You should never think I've naal this because you never do and I love praying the god I love handom a day over I've had a spiritual awakening and and I've never felt a relationship like in my life with god it is just sack and none. Um, and you know being on co being on coco beach or being on South Beach and being almanage watching the sun come up talking to god in the universe. That's what recovery is you know that's it's just a most special thing. My little girl calling me telling me. She's got a stars and a's and her g cs as.
17:00.64
Tom Smyth
And you're like oh my God I Love you so much. That's what it's all about instead of sitting in some night club or bar or the place to be with these in people. That's not me.
17:09.62
angelakirwinuk
Do you think with the alcohol that's one of those all or nothing things. There's no, there's no heart. You go in full. Yeah yeah, and then the recovery all all in in recovery and you're all in in that as well.
17:16.13
Tom Smyth
Ah, you ah you are you kidding me? no shit Yeah, all in but like you can't be a little better and not a little better. It's all in or all out. You know you can't be halfway into success or halfway in the love in somebody.
17:29.62
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
17:35.84
Tom Smyth
Or halfway in the recovery. It's all in or all because if you're not all then you're going to feel.
17:37.18
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, I'm yeah and I I drink but I go through phases where I refuse to drink for six months um and I'll really focus on other things and part of that is because I can't just go out and have a nice glass of wine with my dinner I don't see the point I don't I don't see why you do that. So I can't just tell my brain. Oh just enjoy one so I have to give myself the rule. Okay, it's non for six months then
18:00.40
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:11.61
Tom Smyth
Yeah, what? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah I got it totally? yeah I get it more than you know? yeah talk. But yeah.
18:13.69
angelakirwinuk
And I have to give myself these rules and then I can follow them but the rule needs to be there in the first place.
18:23.42
angelakirwinuk
Ah, so do you do you have like throughout your life to to get to the gym every morning to do all these things to succeed at your business have you got a real structured set of rules for yourself.
18:36.19
Tom Smyth
I'm so I'm relentlessly disciplined. It's military level like you know I am so disciplined. You know it's four o'clock in the morning sometimes three thirty sometimes half to whatever it takes to work with flights. And I'll do my goals but gratitude my mantra ma cardio and then go to a flight somewhere or then go to work and then I might I might train again that day when I was in Myama it was training twice a day. Um.
19:03.95
angelakirwinuk
You sound insane. But for everyone who like obviously can't see you on the podcast. You do look about 15 years younger than you told me you were so so you're doing something right? aren't you.
19:10.94
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, but you know it's just it's protein shakes and bottles a water and you know I don't eat carbs during the day but all these things that so many may think that's intense. It's my normal you know, but all I would say two years I didn't wake up this person I have built this person you know I didn't wake up this guy who's nearly super human that can do these things I have built them to the point where it's 9 my normal and if people don't like it. That's okay, too because I love it. I love waking up in the calm of the morning I love having.
19:45.30
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
19:50.41
Tom Smyth
Ah, triple expresso I love eatingen a beautiful orangeings to take the sword taste of the coffee and write in my gratitude on my golds I'm a mantra and hearing the birds sing I love then listening to motivational material and smash and Maccario and shout now loud. Let's go.
20:08.52
Tom Smyth
And I'm a neighbor maybe thinks that guy killed somebody Elseki and you know on it's onmit on I'm high octane and I'm happy and I'm getting out of a private car at airport I'm thanking the driver and I'm thanking the or whotaes and I'm thanking the ground stuff I'm sprinkling gould dosed on people by just saying.
20:21.20
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
20:26.20
Tom Smyth
My breakfast this morning was amazing and thank you so much it costs nothing to be nice. Um, but then I'm also intense I will push for the best deal I will do whatever I have to do to get the deal over the line if it means driving the glass go London twenty to yours with no sleep. Whatever it takes.
20:43.46
angelakirwinuk
M.
20:45.80
Tom Smyth
um and I really love it I love um I want to get my way from kids the life of their wayless dreams and leave a legacy behind me that my grandkids and great- grandndkids go up my grandda was on Youtube my grandda acted in movies. He did this I want to make them all proud I want to inspire kids from the street. You know recently I at two kids and it broke my heart. Their mother had died from addiction. Their father was in jail and they came to me for for motivation a send them my mantor and course a pre recorded one for free because it just wanted to help them out. Um. And I believe all my positivity and success I'm doing this. They inspired the kids from the street. They'll let them know if I can do it. They can do it.
21:31.25
angelakirwinuk
We got introduced because I know someone who you are the mentor of and he speaks wildly about you and how motivating you are and how being around you gives him this extra boost of energy and confidence to do things. Um, and I'm thinking about all this discipline you have and how probably most people with Adhd really want more discipline but I think I swing more your way where I give myself such strict rules because if I don't have them everything goes to chaos right.
21:52.55
Tom Smyth
M.
22:03.42
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah.
22:09.00
angelakirwinuk
Without the rules. Everything goes to chaos. So I think I swing in your direction rather than the chaotic direction because of rules. But with you it sounds like these you follow these rules because you've implemented them the rules you want to follow.
22:18.45
Tom Smyth
Yep.
22:23.88
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, well number one The guy you're talking about I don't want to say his name in case, he wants a cat count but he's the most amazing guy and I love him the bits and I'm so proud to see his journey and.
22:26.35
angelakirwinuk
So like what were you like at school or what are you like if other people tell you what to do.
22:41.40
Tom Smyth
Okay I may be the man tour from dream mantorn but I also have just woke up the genius that here at he was so I want to just say that. Um, so a couple of things go on the school I remember my sads teacher saying to me. Can you just sit beside the window watch the traffic. And leave me the fuck alone and he let me sit there for 2 years in physics and look at the cars. He gave up on me which when you think now it's quite bad. Um, and recently recently when I was diagnosed I hope this makes people laugh because I was like oh my goodness. I was being diagnosed when we at hit day and the guy says to me, you buy multiple items and I'm like yeah bought six hooties yesterday I buy but a buy moisturizer a buy 3 when a buy off she have a buy 2 and he's like yeah he says you always know where speed cameras are apart from mobile ones. You pay your speed tickets and um parking tickets at the very last minute and he started telling me all these treats about me and I'm like wow and I was laughing but I was also concerned. So um, I'm having I'm owning it and loving it for all the right reasons.
23:48.61
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
23:55.46
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
23:57.48
Tom Smyth
And my disciplines are my life. My journal and is my life. Yeah, my wife? yeah.
24:00.64
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, would you listen to what anyone else said or like could you have anyone else as your boss ever. Okay, she's a real boss. Okay.
24:16.71
Tom Smyth
Um, but yeah I really would take so many's advice. Um I'm also obsessed with cleaning like when I leave my home in Manchester to fly back the Ireland it's as if the cleaners are at ebane. Um, even as much if there's a seat out of lane I'll have to straighten it. Um.
24:20.98
angelakirwinuk
Okay.
24:27.12
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
24:34.74
Tom Smyth
I I Really do believe every day is a school day on if somebody wants to give me advice. My brain's like a sponge and I'll take it I will not listen to the opinion of fools. But I read I I do like learning every day you know I won't I won't listen to some guy message to me.
24:43.49
angelakirwinuk
Okay, so is it? yeah.
24:52.51
Tom Smyth
You should do your own podcast and do it like this and he's never done a podcast in his life whereas if you you message me tell me and face on a podcast I'll take it because you've done it before.
24:57.74
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, and it it sounds like that is that That's a vital part of being in business that that you need to know whose advice to buy and whose's advice not to buy.
25:11.81
Tom Smyth
Who of course I will we take advice from somebody who's doing a hundred times better than me like Grant Cardone the american and billionaire get on like a house on fire with him and I have the utmost respect form but man's a billionaire of course I'm taking hesitation.
25:15.86
angelakirwinuk
So what? okay.
25:20.47
angelakirwinuk
Are.
25:27.71
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, what is the best advice you've ever been given in business or in life.
25:37.98
Tom Smyth
And best keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and always be true to yourself. I will always be that guy I will never let anything go to my head I Love being grounded de risk anything that you're doing if you can't um. And just be Honorable. You know make your word Count. You're going to put your word on something be honorable because again, it's an amazing old core value that nobody really curs anymore if I give you my word I'll be on this podcast I'm on it and I mean I'm so back to back writing for a success summer tomorrow.
26:08.70
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
26:14.89
Tom Smyth
And hotel but you're as important as that because I give you my word.
26:19.25
angelakirwinuk
Thank you and I think that's a really good thing to mention I think we've been kind of messaging back and forth for a couple of weeks um one of us is in one country. 1 of us is in another country but making that time is um, incredibly generous of you and when you're talking about that generosity.
26:28.84
Tom Smyth
Um, what.
26:36.37
angelakirwinuk
It seems like with having very hyperactive impulsive tendencies you you know what? the hardies part about doing these kind of podcasts is that we all have the tendencies to just want to chat and chat and chat nonstop Oh isn't yeah.
26:42.30
Tom Smyth
Um, what do you mean like this.
26:50.10
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:54.10
angelakirwinuk
It a nightmare to rain myselfings I start getting overex excitedted but are there Any bad qualities are there any things that you like this part of my brain really annoys me and I've realized this is something about Adhd rather than just ah, an annoying part of me.
26:55.82
Tom Smyth
Yeah.
27:07.68
Tom Smyth
Yeah, ah, there's times that I think ah hurt my wife by just talking to me and I'm starring in the space and not listening you know and um, it made seem a bit funny me but like I'm I'm St starring right through I'm through the wall and my brains building. A warehouse somewhere or a new mentoring program or I'm writing a book and I'm you know?? Ah I'm just it's going straight over my head. What you're saying um.
27:34.64
angelakirwinuk
And do you have like 1000000 thoughts a minute then have you always got is your brain ever off.
27:43.21
Tom Smyth
I've taught myself how to do your reset and go into the present moment multiple times in a day so I can work for three or four hours stop reset realay focus for 10 minutes and go again and I teach out the Dream Mentoring class. And that's been a huge change for me but ah in the present moment. What can I say or can I hear what can I feel can I smell or can I touch like I can hear air conditioning and I can go right end up being here right now and think about nothing else and then I clear my head and go again on. It's. Sometimes my wife for saving me a Sunday go and do your reset and I'm like okay okay, and then I come back whoa because being inside my head sometimes a very horrible place but I'm very lucky I've taught myself through my mantor and skills that I have a worish.
28:24.50
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
28:28.90
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, well.
28:37.13
Tom Smyth
Monkey Childarm stuff stars coming in I can Rewi I'm a thinking and bring myself back out of it I can change my frequencies from gloom and doom that that success in abundance and happiness and and tune off the bad frequency and go into the good radio station inside my head.
28:55.42
angelakirwinuk
It's really interesting because I think that going into that dark place in your mind can often really spiral right? It can you can take you down and recognizing when that's happening can be quite hard.
29:02.30
Tom Smyth
Will. Well I would wake up paralyzed and bad and not being able to move a fear and anxiety and I wake up a aware of it because I've wrote a book fear less an antidote to self-doubt and overcoming all this and I'm waking up and I'm hitting it and I can feel it I can taste it. But then I'll go through your process of gratitude goals mantra doesn't work and I'll look for a trigger and a trigger could be a video of me getting married and my daughter's being there. It could be my little girl shout and words my dady it could be us in Disneyland and the trigger will take me back out and be a happy frequency. And I know to consecutively look for those but there's times that could take me 3 or 4 hours but I get up at four a m so by 7 or 8 a m I'm back to being Tom but at 4AM I could be in a dark place. Um. But I I am really grateful that I have tools inside my head that allow me to come back out of me because if you get inside you if you get inside your head your death and that's why you hear people say.
30:07.39
angelakirwinuk
Um, that that was and that one Oh sorry.
30:15.86
Tom Smyth
I'm going to get off my head or I'm gonna get out of my head because being and it's so ta is intense.
30:20.40
angelakirwinuk
And use that word tools and that's exactly what I was going to say this like toolkit of techniques this toolkit of different strategies that sometimes you need to use 1 sometimes you need to use the other but you've built your own personal toolkit to help you in these moments.
30:34.66
Tom Smyth
Oh yeah, yeah yeah I know how to dig myself out of darkness back into the late because I know if I I know if I stand that darkness I making come out of it.
30:40.39
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, you've also. Yeah, is that what drives you forward? Do you think or is that part of what drives you forward.
30:57.76
Tom Smyth
Um, I just know if that comes out of me. It's never getting me and it's the resilience of being from Belfast. It's the resilience of having the tools I can see the old version of my head and I knock it out. You're not getting me and I'm here to deliver. Happiness and gratitude on a wife so a life of my wayless dreams to my wife and children and they deserve the lovely version of me instead of some inconsiderate selfish person who's in his own madness. Um, and I know I need more and more help and work.
31:21.18
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
31:33.99
Tom Smyth
Get better neither being diagnosed with so you know I haven't have mades or anything yet on I'm looking forward to try not God knows what's gonna happen. He knows me.
31:42.65
angelakirwinuk
I take medication now and I really didn't want to um the psychiatrist just told me to give it a go. So I's like oh fine. Um, um I'll give it an experiment and I really really appreciate medication now. Yeah.
31:55.84
Tom Smyth
Yeah I think it'll just be another superpower and I may end up trying to take over the world.
31:58.59
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
32:02.47
angelakirwinuk
I mean it kind of helps me hone the best bits of myself and it dampens down the worst bits so Christ. Yeah, how much energy are you going to have if you take the medication.
32:08.71
Tom Smyth
Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking my head may allow me to do more So like excited it? yeah.
32:21.89
angelakirwinuk
I mean it. It might well do ah genuinely um I was also gonna ask you you said um like your wife checks you sometimes your wife will be like Tom youre doing this. You're doing that. How helpful is that like that it sounds like family is. Key for you. How much is that helpful in letting you be the best version of yourself.
32:44.72
Tom Smyth
I I completely live for my wife and kids like I I Really my daughters my wife or my world and I'm very lucky to have a wife who is a 20 year of 10 Stunningly beautiful woman who's super Clever. Doesn't mean keeping me on check and and giving me the urgency and step up or or step down or or listen. And yeah, yeah, you're right? Um I Also think it's maybe being on fur on her that I didn't know about this I didn't know how to. Um, and I Maybe she's she's gonna start getting a betterner person off me too because she deserves it So That's see what happens more maybe doing all that one after I take them ads and I'll report back to the work back to for you know.
33:22.27
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, ah do a little experiment. Ah, how would you wife describe it. What would she say about you.
33:37.56
Tom Smyth
Um, well I'm definitely loving and devoted to her. Um I'm full on I think she maybe deserves a medal from the King for a lifetime achievement award for being married to me. Um, but she knows to worship the ground that she walks On. And she's number one for me and my I'm a daughter. So um, hopefully that's what she would say but she she's my world.
33:58.81
angelakirwinuk
How long have you been caught in.
34:04.33
Tom Smyth
Um, we are married 11 years and we're to gather 15 I matter in an airport I had my little guard she had hers the two kids started playing.
34:06.66
angelakirwinuk
Okay, okay.
34:17.45
Tom Smyth
The voice called on the speaker that the flight the Paris was common I said they're look lovely to me Jim go to Disney Launch she says so am I I'm like really um I get on the back of the plane and she was on the front I walked down and said listen as I walked down the plane I was elbowing people out of the road and said hi. It's me again and she went. What do you doing I'm like. There's something going on here. Don't know what it is and she's like wow so she's going check out weirdo boy here and everybody's trying to get on the plane and I'm like you stop talking to like earlier and I says look. There's something there can I maybe take the two you on far. Can we all go for dinner tonight and she says it's not my decision. It's Rihanna's birthday Rihanna what would you like to do and Rihanna says I really liked farm on my and she says me, you've got your yes so everybody started clapping on the plane I went back down, we're mad every day for four days in Disney Land and my wedding speech I said thank god for Mickey Mouse because we're mad at euro doesn't it.
35:14.73
angelakirwinuk
That's like the best I've met my partner's story ever isn't it. Oh.
35:17.23
Tom Smyth
Yeah, and it's just just just been there for me through my darkest days and it's don't only do better like.
35:23.53
angelakirwinuk
And do you think kind of the best days of your relationship now are even yet to come Do you think the more you work on yourself. Yeah.
35:28.72
Tom Smyth
Oh yeah, hundred percent hundred percent I am 11 a 12 stop program and I just want to be the best first number south all of the time you know I'm always making a man's always being grateful always trying to do up both and beyond. Always connect them a god always stag in the universe always breaking gold dust than somebody always making her feel like a million dollars spend a time with our granddaughter I'm a grand and I you know it's just wow get this whole thing to do again and life just keeps getting better. But then it's like going to the gym. It's like confidence I put daily work into it. You know and if you're putting the work in you do you get it back.
36:08.16
angelakirwinuk
yeah yeah I think that's so true. Why did you go and get diagnosed with Adhd what was it that made you even go and do that in the first place.
36:25.98
Tom Smyth
It was ah it was an accident I was with one of the top specialists Dr Assad in the country. Um, one of my amazing clients Richard Parker the 2 of us are. Gonna be open in a rehab clinic. We just haven't found the right place yet on the right funder and that we Richard brought this amazing guy and halfway through your meet and he says to me. Um, you do know you've got ad don't yeah I'm like what and he sat and diagnosed me then a madam again and he give me more intense. Overview and he's the most doctor assad the most amazing mom and since then and I that I realized I got it and what did I do I didn't turn up from a consultation because it scared me slightly by taking the drugs and stuff and. And I I'm okay with it and I'm looking forward to going and doing the test and getting whatever I need to get to make myself the best version of me. Um I'm sort of proud I have a to I see it as a superpower. We're all amazing. Burn. Let's go.
37:27.42
angelakirwinuk
It Yeah, it's definitely is definitely one of those things where I think the good parts of it when they're good. Yeah, it's powerful and wonderful. But I do think.
37:40.82
Tom Smyth
Um, yeah.
37:43.49
angelakirwinuk
The best parts of yourself. You've got to give yourself credit for that. It's not just because there's some weird thing going on in your brain I think that that is as you say that that daily work that you put in. Um, that's a really interesting story and it's really interesting about you wanting to open the Rehab where will that be.
37:46.70
Tom Smyth
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah course if yeah.
38:03.37
angelakirwinuk
All would you? yeah.
38:03.48
Tom Smyth
Definitely we'll definitely do england as our first one and then um, if we get the proper funding from the right hedge fund. We will do a few more in England and and at Northern Ireland badly needs one in a huge way. Drugs are ruining our country. And it's ruin in the u k and I think it's being overlooked and not talked about. Don't enough. There's an epidemic you know.
38:25.40
angelakirwinuk
Yeah I think there's this huge connection as well between addiction and Adhd and I worked in a yeah and I worked in addiction services for a long long time and I never I have adh d and I didn't even think about Adhd I didn't ever think.
38:31.17
Tom Smyth
No shit.
38:43.57
angelakirwinuk
Oh maybe we should send these guys to the doctor I Just saw the symptom which was the addiction rather than the mind side of things. Um, now you're in recovery. Do you think that.
38:47.36
Tom Smyth
Why? yes.
38:59.28
angelakirwinuk
That you were self-medicating or do you do you describe it in that way or do you think it was something completely different.
39:09.46
Tom Smyth
Great question. Um, yeah I Just believe it's like anything I do I'm all in on it and I think I was all in on on it and I'm just so glad I grab it could grab the whole of it before it grabbed me. Um.
39:17.71
angelakirwinuk
Um, okay.
39:22.49
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
39:27.46
Tom Smyth
And it's a miracle in itself which I'm very grateful for and it's it is just like every single thing else I do like if I'm walking to the car park I'm nearly running to it to try and break the hundred meter sprint record. You know it's if I was drinking I was the best out of.
39:43.60
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, stay out the latest get help for at least for work.
39:46.80
Tom Smyth
If there's a best of there's a best to be. Yeah I think I made Charlie Shane look like a choir boy you know which is which yeah, which is isn't an honorable thing or something to be proud of at all or an accol ridiculous in itself.
39:51.16
angelakirwinuk
But so so it is. It's being a v.
39:58.78
angelakirwinuk
Yeah.
40:05.42
Tom Smyth
But um, all in you know it's like I'm so glad I am all in on Love and God What an nicece way to be out the other shade of it That's tenacious thing in the plummet.
40:12.24
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, what does the future look like for you.
40:22.25
Tom Smyth
Um, I'm thinking I asked Putin to step down in Russia and take over. Um I want to build my mentor in business. The 100000000 po company and motivate and inspire people all over the world do sales training globally write in other few books. Act in at least another 10 or 15 films. Um, love my away from kids. The best icon to my ability every single day and give back to the word as much as I can before I leave in the next hopefully 50 years or 60 years or something you know.
40:54.85
angelakirwinuk
Do you do you plot and plan the future. Do you kind of sit down and do a year five year ten year plan.
41:03.49
Tom Smyth
Yeah I create my whole life I'm the architect of my own world I write golds within a week. Ah a month right up there about 3 years is where I stay and everything I write becomes a reality everything I don't try and manifest it a visualize it I see it on ahead. What I think of a become. But I take the action the achiever I'll make the phone calls rap the doors call send the emails make the flights go to somebody's office until that becomes a reality on I have boxes of journals I've just done a goal or grand kurdone I wrote that goal.
41:30.54
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
41:39.20
Tom Smyth
Six days awake for three years that I was going to do a huge public speaking event with grant couldur own the american billionaire it's now reality I wrote one a year ago No Twenty two years ago that I was going to start acting in movies on the thirteenth of september. Um, and an an english blockbuster film I ra a food soldier one of the actors. Ah my system works. So my dream mantor works. It also keeps my brain on point which is really good for my head I know exactly what I'm doing I've got gratitude in my heart. My mantra is my focus on my armor. Of who I am and then I'm ready to go.
42:15.57
angelakirwinuk
For me working as a writer I find Journaling just the most useful way of figuring out what my goals are but just figuring out what's going on in my brain So is that kind of like download from your brain onto paper.
42:24.50
Tom Smyth
Who Yeah, if I didn't journal for a month I would pay a past a kiss if I don't journal for a awake. There's something starting to go wrong with me.
42:31.12
angelakirwinuk
Is that something that helps you clarify everything you want to do in the business.
42:42.55
Tom Smyth
I write six days a week six days a week love it my world it's my life you know it is everything to me. It's the most amazing thing. It's not a chore. It's everything I will always get up and make time to do it tomorrow morning. Summit success some that I'm doing tomorrow isn't finished I'll get up at three thirty and start writing you know and love more.
43:04.39
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, and when it's out on paper you you can see exactly where your destination is you can see what you've got to work towards.
43:11.25
Tom Smyth
I Feel hard to feel the the gratitude to feel the happiness feel the connection the words sometimes come up out of the page at me.
43:25.66
angelakirwinuk
It's It's really, it's really inspiring isn't it to hear how you do life and what I think is most important in what you're saying and what I've heard is that you really enjoy it. It's not yeah, it's not like the success.
43:39.10
Tom Smyth
Lova.
43:43.32
angelakirwinuk
Is the goal. Yeah, the journey's enjoyable fear.
43:44.70
Tom Smyth
Ah, ain't no chore It's no chore. Yeah, the journey is the journey's the best part of the goal the goal turning up can sometimes be the arrival fallacy of really enjoy the journey. Because it's the most enjoyable bit and I really got it this morning I was in the present moment. It was almost star reclaimer I looked on what I just got our name and I'm like yes you know just for that brief moment. It was like yes I get it I get it and then I'm 3 the Monday day and things and work and even my normal day is. As an I mean isn't day I'm so grateful for know what.
44:22.51
angelakirwinuk
Do you ever? Do you ever switch off though like or is rest part of the the process of being productive for you.
44:35.50
Tom Smyth
Um I will not do 1 thing on a Sunday ever. It's a fury set my phone goes away I don't want to look at it I just want to speak to Dolores and play with the dogs and you know my little dog Romeo. Has come up with this technique where he comes in onto your lap and knocks your phone out your hand with where his head because he just wants to be loved and you're like oh my god I love you. He just wants to be.
44:59.31
angelakirwinuk
My dog My dog Wilson Barks at me if I'm on the phone and on my phone on the sofa and I'm like I need my dog to remind me to like be present sometimes but it's so good.
45:10.33
Tom Smyth
Yeah, you think my wife said that very you know truthfully phones were created to connect people but they're actually actually disconnecting people. That's so true. But um Sundays I will do zero and.
45:20.18
angelakirwinuk
Um, yeah.
45:25.73
Tom Smyth
It makes me go into work on a Monday like a machine and I love it.
45:27.69
angelakirwinuk
So really organized with your work life balance Would you call it that do you ever call it that.
45:33.98
Tom Smyth
But when I guess says it when I say zero on a Sunday I mean up at Eight o'clock walk the dogs go to the gym go first sports massage and then shell so it's probably still somebody's idea of a name.
45:48.18
angelakirwinuk
But it's it's not. It's not on your phone on emails doing business stuff. Yeah.
45:53.63
Tom Smyth
No not I wouldn't look at an email for a million quid no chance not a chance because if you're in then the next thing you're back on. Let's um and do not disturb my past friend I on my phone boom do not disturb. Or a plan mode.
46:12.20
angelakirwinuk
Yes, so what is your best advice for people with a very busy brain. Um, what's your best advice for them.
46:22.90
Tom Smyth
Turn off the Monkey chatter and say your head be really weary on the conversation that you're listening to make sure your self talk is on point and your love on yourself with emotion integrity self. Love. If you are having difficulty with yourself talk change the script and the gorgeous love and movie of Happiness abundance success and love instead of going to a horror movie inside your head which could be self destruct and Horrible. You have to love yourself and it all starts with self talk. Would you let anybody else talk to you badly? Well then don't talk to yourself. Badly, you are good Enough. You are worthy. You are Beautiful. You are Strong. You do deserve it. You can't do it is what I would say.
47:16.25
angelakirwinuk
I'll put that on repeat. That's gonna be my wake up alarm. You telling me that ah and to add to what you saying. It's a work in progress. It's It's not a life hack right? It's it's work and you have to do it consistently.
47:19.67
Tom Smyth
Um, but wow.
47:33.36
Tom Smyth
Consistency is the secret of all success and all happiness.
47:35.29
angelakirwinuk
Yeah, thank you so much for your time today that has absolutely flown by and do you want to tell everyone where they can find you. Where we can get more words of wisdom and inspirational talking from.
47:52.60
Tom Smyth
Thank you so I am Tom Smith the entrepreneur on Instagram I am on Linkedin I am the author of fearless I own Dream Mentoring a global successful mentoring business. That will change your world with a proven track record and if you find me just send me a DM and I will contact you right away and anybody who listens to this? Thank you for listening to it. Thank you for you for being such an amazing interviewee and um. It's afraid I'm going to get stuck back in the work and I feel blessed. So thank you for the opportunity Hopefully even if it helps 1 person. My job's being done on the podcast. So thanks bye.
48:31.73
angelakirwinuk
Thank you so much for your time. Thank you right.
Share this post