Isn't A Diagnosis Just A Label?
I didn't know how life-changing a formal diagnosis for ADHD could be.
(If you struggle to read full articles, you can skip straight to the podcast here, and don’t forget to subscribe for updates before you go)
18 years old. Bleach blonde hair, 20 a day smoking habit and an epic hangover. I only got home a couple of hours ago, skulking back to my university bedroom in the morning light.
You’re such an embarrassment.
I wasn’t paying attention to my mum on the other end of the phone. It was already pinging with text messages, plans were being hatched for the next big night out. But Doreen wanted to tell me about a course she’d been on with work.
‘It was about ADHD,’ she continues. ‘Attention deficit something, something. Hold on, I made some notes.’
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
My mind wandered.
‘It’s not been on my radar before. Not for girls, anyway. And don’t get angry, but…’
Why the f%@* would she think I’d get angry? What’s that even mean?
Is she saying I’m angry? Am I horrific?
I was prone to getting angry, she was right to be cautious. But as she read off the list of symptoms, I could see she was on to something.
Being told I might have ADHD at 18 was mildly interesting, like learning my blood type, but I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it, didn’t think I needed to learn more. So, I procrastinated for over 15 years, not trying to get formally diagnosed, not researching anything beyond the basics, not knowing what it meant to live in an ADHD brain. I probably just went right on to the next party.
The first podcast episode comes out today, and in conversation with Victoria (better known as ActuallyAspling on Insta) we open up about how diagnosis has changed our lives. For me, it’s made every day less of a daily battle against my own brain.
For the first time in my whole life, there’s a sense of internal peace, instead of a constant background soundtrack of complete mental chaos.
Maybe you should record a podcast episode trying to show what your brain sounds like.
Please stop digressing. Just please get to the end of the article.
Write it down. Make an ADHD brain soundtrack. Write it down now. You’ll forget. You always forget.
OK, maybe it’s not complete zen-goddess peace. But it’s better than it was. Because viewing my life back through the lens of ADHD has allowed me to be kinder to myself. I can give myself more grace, more space. There’s less judgement of myself.
Where once I’d have been mortified to share things like this, now it doesn’t feel so… It doesn’t fill me with shame.
The podcast is launched. I’d love you to listen. I’d love you to share this post, and the podcast, far and wide. Because if it can resonate with just one person, it’ll be a job well done.
Angie