My plate is as full as I want it to be right now...

Learning the art of saying 'no' & maintaining my sanity

I used to be the kind of person that had to have inbox zero every single evening. I’d respond to emails within minutes of getting them, promising all sorts, pledging to do work (that was often unpaid) and filling up my time with tasks other people wanted me to do, rather than what I wanted to focus on.

Well, the times are a’changin. No more.

I’ve learnt this dead good phrase, and I’m sticking to it.

Of course, there are a million and one things I’d love to say ‘yes’ to. Every proposition I get is awesome. I’m passionate about so many things.

But that doesn’t mean I have the time, or energy to do them all. And it doesn’t mean that by doing all these things, I’ll be getting any closer to the goals I’ve chosen to focus on.

The great thing about saying ‘my plate is as full as I want it to be,’ is that I’m not hiding behind being super busy, I’m not leaving the recipient with the idea that in a few days/weeks/months when I’m less busy, I’ll be up for their project.

It just means I’m saying ‘no’, and I’m saying ‘no’ because my life is exactly as I want it to be at the moment. Busy, but not overwhelmed. Full, but not bursting.

Because we shouldn’t be thinking the only time we can say ‘no’ is when we’re on the verge of burnout. We can say it whenever we damn want. It’s a much healthier way of approaching life.

Does that mean I’m saying ‘no’ to every project that comes my way? Hell No! There are some things that are just too exciting to pass up. But it does mean I’m being a little bit more discerning & a lot more concerned about what my wants, needs, desires & goals are.

To help me figure that out, I recently read a great book (nope, can’t remember the title. Yep, I’ll dig it out & find it if you’re desperate to know & drop me a message) that said you need to plan your tasks like you’re cooking on the hob.

There’s only one, main goal on the front burner. This is where time & attention should be dedicated. You can have a second pan on the go, but anything more than that & you’ll probably start to burn your food.

Everything else, needs to be chucked in the kitchen sink. Anything that isn’t that front-burner task, or you backburner goal, needs to be shelved, shoved away & ignored.

So, that’s what I’m doing right now. And so far, I’m cooking up a storm.

I’ve had more space & time for new ideas to percolate. I’m already feeling my book-writing-creative-juices have started bubbling away again. My relationships are better. I’m calmer & the house I’m renovating is looking pretty damn awesome.

Why don’t you give it a go?

Tell people you’re as busy as you want to be at the moment, and start saying ‘no’ more.

It’s pretty easy, once you start.