The Highs & Lows of Hyperfocus
Oh little brain, why'd you have to be so obsessive?
I’ve spent the whole weekend playing on Canva, figuring out TikTok and finally dipping my toe into the world of Instagram Reels (these are different internet things, Mum. I’ll show you when I come home… which should be next week, but I’ve been too busy to book the flights yet).
My head is throbbing. I’m dehydrated, but have needed a wee for the past four hours. I haven’t eaten yet and it’s 6pm. I should’ve been writing. I should’ve been out in the sunshine. I could’ve spent the weekend hiking or biking or just relaxing in some glorious Italian piazza. At the very least, I was supposed to have had a shower.
Instead, I’ve devolved into a little keyboard gremlin, all hunchback, squinty eyes and numb arse.
This wasn’t exactly the plan, but there was some sort of rationale behind ignoring daylight and spending the weekend reinventing myself into a social media content queen.
It went something like this -
I like writing.
I really like writing about ADHD.
I want more people to read what I write about ADHD.
To get more people to read it, I need to share the posts on my socials.
But maybe I’m annoying everyone with all the ADHD stuff on my normal feeds.
You’re right, you’re so annoying.
I’ll make new profiles, just for ADHD stuff.
The kids are on TikTok these days, maybe I should hop over there?
Christ, this is sensory overload.
Back to Instagram.
How do I make a reel?
Better schedule some reels.
And suddenly, I’ve lost a whole 48 hours. Not to writing, not to doing the thing I love, but to doing some tangential activities that I know I’ll get bored of, and give up on, in anywhere between 8-18 days. I’ve been able to convince myself all weekend that this is both necessary and important if I am to get my ADHD writing in front of new people. Then the exhaustion sets in and so too does the realisation that perhaps I’ve wasted my time.
ADHD hyper-focus is great when I can train it onto the right thing. It’s what my eyes-on-the-prize enough to write the first book. It’s what helped me train for Iron Man. Hell, hyper-focus can take the credit for me learning Italian. But the problem is, I can’t always decide where that laser-vision is going to land.
It could be on something life-enhancing or career-building or, well, useful. More often than not, however, it picks a random activity that’ll keep my attention for just long enough that I neglect the things that matter, but never long enough it sticks and becomes a bona fide interest or hobby.
I’m crap at social media. It takes consistency, regular posting and patiently building up a following. I do not possess the characteristics necessary. Believe me, I’ve tried before.
This is me whether medicated or not. Granted, if I plan what I’m doing for the day before I take medication, I’m less likely to get distracted. But if I swallow the little blue pill without a clear task list for the day already mapped out, you might abandon all hope for me now.
Anyway, if you have Instagram and fancy checking out the day’s efforts, you can follow me here @HyperactiveLiving
And the TikTok is @HyperactiveLiving for the young ‘uns amongst you.
Maybe, though, it’d be better if you just share, like, comment and send this to your mates if you like the writing. It might help me stay off the socials and get back to doing the thing I love doing.
Ange